<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>nobody makes me feel the way you do by manesalex</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23831899">nobody makes me feel the way you do</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/manesalex/pseuds/manesalex'>manesalex</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Resentment [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alex Manes Deserves Nice Things, Alex Manes Needs a Hug, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix-It, M/M, Michael Guerin Loves Alex Manes, Mild Sexual Content, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, minor Isobel Evans/Kyle Valenti, references to sexual assault/dubcon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:42:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,950</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23831899</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/manesalex/pseuds/manesalex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael, Kyle, and Isobel visit Alex in Austin and Michael and Alex make a decision about the future of their relationship.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Michael Guerin/Alex Manes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Resentment [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1712398</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>123</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>nobody makes me feel the way you do</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is for all of my fellow Alex fans and Malex shippers who are hurting right now. I hope this helps just a bit.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Oh thank god,” Michael says as he stumbles out of his truck. “I’ve been stuck in a moving vehicle with those two lovebirds for the past nine hours.”</p><p>He looks better than he did the last time Alex saw him. Or for most of the time Alex was in Roswell, if he’s being honest. Michael looks well-rested and genuinely happy, grinning at him and holding his arms open, inviting Alex to hug him, but not pushing him for anything.</p><p>Alex takes the invitation easily, stepping into Michael’s embrace and inhaling that familiar scent of rain. It’s not fair how he still feels like he’s suddenly home.</p><p>“Get out of the way, Guerin, and let me see my best friend,” Kyle says from somewhere behind Michael and Alex steels himself for the disappointment as Michael lets go and steps back.</p><p>Kyle doesn’t wait before hugging him tightly, “I missed you, man.”</p><p>“I missed you too,” Alex is surprised at how true it is. He’s missed them all, even though he talks to them regularly. Kyle has texted him constantly since he left Roswell, to check in on him and to send him updates. And, after Michael came to visit, he and Alex had taken to actually talking on the phone. He’s been surprised by how much time Michael will spend on the phone with him and how much he looks forward to their almost nightly calls. He enjoys hearing about Michael’s day and telling Michael about his own, leaving the alien drama to go through Kyle.</p><p>He lets Kyle go to see Isobel standing there, impeccable eyebrow arched, “It’s nice to see you again.”</p><p>“You too, Isobel,” he replies easily, offering out a hand. They don’t know each other as well, but he knows Kyle has been dating Isobel for the past few months and that his friend is happy. Which really shouldn’t surprise him. Kyle always had a thing for intimidating women, after all.</p><p>She ignores it and hugs him, much to his surprise, just a quick squeeze before letting him go. “Don’t worry about putting us up or anything. I got us a very nice hotel room. But Michael will need to crash on your couch,” she grins evilly.</p><p>“Sorry,” Michael offers, “I can find somewhere else to-”</p><p>“You’re always welcome in my home, Michael,” Alex says, finding he means it completely. It’s taken them a while to get back here, but he’s comfortable with Michael. They’ve worked through a lot, after all.</p><p>“I expect you to show us the best gay bar in Austin, Manes,” Isobel says, grinning.</p><p>“Yeah, um, dinner and then to a club?” Alex suggests. “Do you need to check into your hotel first?”</p><p>“Yes. Thank you. I need a hot shower to wash that disgusting truck smell off of me. Text us the address and we’ll meet you there,” she says, grabbing Kyle and tapping away on her phone, getting them a Lyft as Kyle takes their bags out of the truck.</p><p>“So, I guess it’s just you and me then?” Alex asks Michael with a raised eyebrow, reaching over and grabbing the last remaining bag, which Michael instantly takes from him.</p><p>Michael is quiet as he follows him up the stairs and into his apartment.</p><p>“I guess I have to find something to wear out,” Alex says, heading straight to his bedroom, “You know where everything is. Make yourself comfortable.”</p><p>He starts to dig through his closet and it’s not long before he hears the shower running.</p>
<hr/><p>Alex easily gives in to Michael’s insistence on driving to the restaurant, relaxing against the familiar leather bench seat.</p><p>“Do you know how that whole Kyle and Isobel thing happened?” Alex asks. Kyle hadn’t told him much during their many talks, other than that he was seeing her, and he’s curious about it. It makes sense in an odd way, but he can’t imagine how it could have started.</p><p>“Apparently, they kept meeting up at Planet 7,” Michael looks like he’s trying not to laugh. “I guess Kyle was avoiding Liz and Maria, though he never quite said why he couldn’t do that at Saturn’s Rings. And Isobel, well, she’s bi, so…”</p><p>“Kyle <em>loves</em> gay bars,” Alex shrugs. “He was always trying to get me to go with him to Planet 7. I guess he finally gave up and started going on his own. I think he likes the drinks and the energy.”</p><p>“He’s really changed since high school,” Michael laughs. And then his tone is more serious, “Have you thought about what you’re going to do after your four years are up?”</p><p>Alex sighs, rubbing his right thigh out of habit more than anything else. It’s not particularly hurting him today, thankfully, “I don’t know. Assuming I get this whole mess dismantled by then?” he glances over at Michael, who nods but doesn’t look away from the road. “See about making music, probably?” He pauses before asking, “What about you? Any plans for the future? Getting that ship up and running and getting out of here?” He still hates the idea of Michael leaving, but he promised that he wouldn’t get in the way of what Michael wants.</p><p>“Is that what you think I should do?” Michael asks, tone careful.</p><p>“You know I never want you to leave, Michael,” Alex admits softly. “But, if it’s what you want…”</p><p>“Nah,” Michael smiles quickly. Almost too quickly. “Got people who want me here. That’s all I want anyway.” He pauses before saying, “I’ve been taking online classes with UNM. Mechanical Engineering.”</p><p>“Really?!” Alex can’t help but exclaim, reaching out to touch Michael’s arm. “I’m so proud of you!”</p><p>Michael lights up at that, grin spreading across his face, surprising Alex by blushing a bit. “I mean, it’s easy as hell, but I’m enjoying it. Always wanted to study it, but, I don’t know, I gave it up after-” his face falls and he goes silent.</p><p>“Yeah, I think we both gave up on our dreams after that,” Alex replies softly. “But I’m so happy you’re pursuing yours again. And of course it’s easy for you. You’re a genius.”</p><p>Michael blushes again, a huge grin taking over his face. And then, with Alex’s encouragement, he starts to talk about it, things Alex can barely keep up with, but the excitement in Michael’s voice and the joy on his face is more than enough for him to enjoy hearing it.</p>
<hr/><p>They don’t go anywhere too fancy for dinner, much to Isobel’s disappointment, but they’re quickly taken to a booth, Kyle scooting in next to Isobel and Michael instantly moving to sit beside Alex.</p><p>He finds himself overly aware of Michael’s body heat next to him, overwhelming his senses. It makes it hard to focus on the conversation.</p><p>Thankfully, Michael seems oblivious, as does Kyle. But Isobel seems overly aware of it. So, when they make it to the club, she pushes for a chance to get him alone.</p><p>“Kyle, Michael, find us a table, will you?” she asks, less of a question and more of an order. “Alex and I are going to go get drinks.”</p><p>He knows better than to fight her on it, knows he should just get it over with, so he leads the way to the bar, turning to look at her when they reach it, “What do you want to say to me, Isobel?” he asks, eyebrow raised, ready for the confrontation that he’s certain is coming.</p><p>“My brother is still in love with you,” Isobel says, causing Alex to almost run into someone.</p><p>“He- What?”</p><p>“Michael is still in love with you. Maybe even more than he was before, if it’s possible. I mean, he’s had his phone practically glued to his ear for the past six months and, before that, he lost it on a near daily basis. That alone should make it obvious.”</p><p>“And why are you telling me this?” Alex asks carefully when they reach the bar.</p><p>“Because I want to ask you to either do something about it or let him go for good so he can move on.”</p><p>He wants to ask her if she thinks that will work. If Michael’s love for Alex is anything like Alex’s love for Michael, distance won’t destroy it, time spent apart won’t kill it, not even the night he’s still trying to heal from could end it for good. His love for Michael will always win over his self-preservation instincts. And that’s what scares him. “He said we aren’t good for each other,” he tells her softly. “I don’t know that he was wrong.”</p><p>She grabs her and Kyle’s drinks and waits for him to grab his own and Michael’s before she speaks, “He told me that loving you was like a crash landing.” She just gives him an annoyed look when he stops dead in his tracks, almost spilling on himself. “The thing is, I don’t think he meant that exactly. I think that… Maybe loving you feels like flying for him and then, when it ends badly, that’s the crash-landing.” She pauses, turning around to look at him. “You <em>are</em> good for him, Alex. He’s happier now than I’ve ever seen him. He stopped drinking and using acetone. He’s not picking fights anymore. He’s taking college classes. Planning for the future. With or without you in it, but I think you’re the catalyst for this change.” She pauses, “He clearly wants to be good for you too. Maybe you should figure out if you want to let him.” Then she scrunches up her face, “Ugh. I sound like a Hallmark movie. Kyle has turned me into a sap.” And she turns around and starts walking again.</p><p>“Happiness looks good on you, Isobel,” Alex replies, enjoying the way she turns around to glare at him for his remark.</p><p>Predictably, when they reach the table, Isobel hands the bright pink drink to Kyle and keeps the chardonnay for herself. Alex hands Michael a seltzer and takes a sip of his own beer. He’s thinking about what Isobel said, if he can actually <em>have</em> this thing. If it would be a good idea, if he’s ready, if they can keep it from falling apart. He knows they’re in a better place than they’ve been in a while, but that doesn’t mean they’ll handle conflict or miscommunication well. They never have. Staying friends feels so much easier and safer and he understands why Michael would worry about that.</p><p>He’s still lost in thought when Isobel and Kyle go out into the crowd to dance, only startling back to the present when Michael’s fingers brush his arm. He jerks away and Michael flinches, moving back.</p><p>“Sorry!” he blurts out instantly. “You startled me. I was lost in thought. I didn’t mean-”</p><p>Michael nods, “You okay? Your leg bothering you? The noise?”</p><p>He shakes his head, “Just thinking.”</p><p>“Care to share?” Michael asks, concern still all over his face.</p><p>Alex thinks for a moment, takes Michael in. From the furrowed brow to the way his hands are hovering near Alex, not quite touching, but ready to reach out in an instant if he needs him. The way he looked when he saw Alex, the excitement in his voice when he talked about his classes. The ways, large and small, he’s trying to do better.</p><p>“Take me home,” Alex says softly, finally.</p><p>“Your leg bothering you?” Michael asks, concerned.</p><p>“No. Take me home?”</p><p>Michael’s face lights up at that and he nods rapidly, “Just let me tell Iz and Kyle we’re going. I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere,” he says before running out into the crowd in search of his sister.</p><p>And, just a minute or so later, Michael is pushing his way back through the crowd and standing before Alex. “Hi,” he says, adorable smile on his face.</p><p>“Hi,” Alex grins back up at him, holding out a hand, “Ready to go?”</p><p>Michael nods quickly, taking his hand. Alex nearly gasps at the heat and electricity he feels going through him at the touch, like knowing what he wants and choosing to take that leap opened the floodgates.</p><p>He lets Michael lead the way back to the truck, climbing in and waiting while Michael starts it.</p><p>“Just so we’re clear, so I know I didn’t misinterpret,” Michael says nervously. “We’re going back to your place because?”</p><p>“Yes,” Alex grins at him. “You didn’t misinterpret. I want you to-” he tries to find the right way to word it in his head. “I want us to try again. And I want you to spend tonight in my bed.”</p><p>Michael still sounds unsure when he asks, “And… This isn’t a one-time thing, right? Because I don’t know that I can-”</p><p>“I want this to be a forever thing, if you want-” Alex offers.</p><p>“Yes,” Michael instantly interrupts. “I very much want that.” And then he asks, “And, you’re okay with me… Touching you like that again?”</p><p>Alex’s smile grows, “You better,” he says, letting flirtation seep into his voice.</p><p>“Fuck, Alex, keep talking like that and we won’t make it back to your place,” Michael replies instantly, clearly speeding up a bit.</p><p>Thankfully, the ride isn’t too long and they’re there, parking in front of Alex’s apartment building, Michael practically bouncing to the stairs. Alex is certain that, if he could do it with his leg, Michael would be pulling him to run up the stairs with him.</p><p>But soon they’re there and inside and Alex is suddenly filled with nerves. So much has changed since they last did this. And he’s scared.</p><p>“Hey, Alex, darlin,” Michael breathes, catching the look on his face. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want, okay? I’d be perfectly happy just sitting at your kitchen table and playing scrabble with you all night if that’s what you want. Honestly, that would be the best night I’ve had in a while. I’d happily spend every night of the rest of my life just like that. Because it’s you and me. That’s what matters, okay?”</p><p>Alex nods and takes a deep breath, slowly letting it out before stepping into Michael’s space, “I want this,” he says carefully, moving forward incrementally until Michael’s lips are pressed against his own again.</p><p>He tastes better than Alex could have possibly remembered and his hands are hovering above Alex’s skin, like he’s waiting for permission and Alex has never felt so cared for in his life. He’s never felt loved like this. He pulls away for a moment, looking into Michael’s eyes. “I want you to touch me, Michael,” he tells him.</p><p>And, with that, Michael is pulling Alex toward him and Alex is drowning in the sensation of Michael touching him again, finally. Michael’s right hand on his back, holding him close. Michael’s left hand cupping his jaw, holding him so gently.</p><p>Alex lets himself bury his left hand in Michael’s curls, sighing into Michael’s mouth at that familiar softness, right hand clutching Michael’s arm.</p><p>He wonders how he ever thought he could live without this feeling. Like his entire world had been off-kilter and now it’s finally tilted back into place on its axis, now that Michael is in his arms again.</p><p>“Take me to bed,” he manages to say between kisses and Michael is pushing him back toward his bedroom blindly, not letting him move out of his grasp. Not that Alex wants to be anywhere else. He wants to spend the rest of his life in Michael’s arms.</p><p>They make it to the bed, tripping together and falling onto it. Alex can’t help but laugh with joy. Michael lifts himself slightly so he’s holding himself above Alex, curls falling all around his beautiful face, smile bright, nose wrinkling, looking at Alex the way only he has ever looked at Alex. With fondness and so much love. Like Alex is the best thing he’s ever seen. He’s certain he’s looking up at Michael with a similar expression on his face.</p><p>And then Michael is diving in, kissing along his jaw, the spot behind his ear that always makes him weak in the knees, down his neck, overwhelming him.</p><p>He can feel Michael pause, hands brushing against the edge of his shirt and he nods quickly, helping Michael tug it over his head and then falling back against his bed as Michael’s lips move to his chest, leaving gentle bites, kisses, and licks everywhere, driving Alex to distraction.</p><p>It’s too much and not enough at the same time and he’s rocking his hips desperately against Michael, feeling Michael’s hands move to his jeans.</p><p>And then, suddenly, a brush of a hand against him and he can’t breathe. There’s not enough air in the room and his stomach rolls. Everything is spinning and going dark and cold as he scrambles away until he hits his headboard, choking and sucking in air desperately.</p><p>Everything is wrong, like he’s underwater and he’s numb, but he’s sick and he can’t catch his breath.</p><p>Even as it’s happening, he knows what it is, but that doesn’t stop it, doesn’t slow it down.</p><p>When he finally comes out of it slowly, like waking from a horrible nightmare, Michael is standing on the opposite end of the room, watching him, looking terrified.</p><p>“I’m- I’m sorry, I-” he manages to get out.</p><p>Michael shakes his head, “Don’t apologize, Alex. I’m gonna get you some water, okay? Stay right there.”</p><p>He slowly comes back to himself while Michael is gone, finally catching his breath, but still shaky, his heart pounding in his chest. He still feels sick.</p><p>Michael comes back in quietly, handing him a glass of water and a bottle of pills from his medicine cabinet. Valium. “I know it might be a bit late to take it, but-”</p><p>“Thank you, Michael,” he replies, opening the pill bottle and tipping it toward his hand, taking one pill and handing the bottle back to Michael.</p><p>He’s finished the glass of water when Michael returns, handing him a box of tissues. And that’s when he realizes that his face is wet with tears. He cleans up as best as he can while trying to ignore Michael’s hovering.</p><p>“I’m sorry that I ruined it,” he says softly.</p><p>“You didn’t ruin anything,” Michael says easily. “How do you feel about ice cream on the couch and more Schitt’s Creek?”</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>“I’ll be right out there getting it ready whenever you’re ready to join me,” Michael smiles at him, giving him a little wave before heading out the door.</p><p>Alex takes his time to collect himself before standing on shaky legs and grabbing a t-shirt, pulling it over his head.</p><p>Michael is on the couch with two bowls of ice cream in front of him on the table, arm over the back of the couch and Alex easily slides into his arms, curling up against him, letting Michael use his powers to wrap him up with a blanket and lift a bowl of ice cream to him.</p><p>Alex eats quietly and let’s Michael start Netflix, taking comfort in the familiar comedy and the world he wishes he lived in.</p><p>He finishes his ice cream and relaxes into Michael’s warmth, lets Michael play with his hair, tries to match his breath to Michael’s even breathing.</p>
<hr/><p>Alex wakes up alone in his bed, prosthetic, jeans, and other boot off, but nothing else changed. He doesn’t remember making his way to bed, just remembers being curled up on the couch with Michael, watching Schitt’s Creek while Michael played with his hair.</p><p>At that thought, he pushes himself to his foot, grabbing his cane and moving as quickly as he can out of the bedroom and toward the living room, in search of Michael, hoping against hope that his panic hadn’t sent him away.</p><p>“Morning, darlin’,” he hears from the kitchen when he opens the door. Michael is standing in the kitchen, wearing boxers and a t-shirt and cooking. “How’re you feeling?” his voice is careful, trying to hide the concern he clearly feels.</p><p>Alex shrugs, unable to put words to the way he’s feeling, emotionally hungover and drained.</p><p>“Go on and relax on the couch,” Michael just smiles at him, “I’ll bring out breakfast in a few.”</p><p>So Alex takes the opportunity to go to the bathroom, brush his teeth, wash up a bit, before making his way back to the living room. Michael is carrying two cups of coffee and floating their plates in front of him when he makes his way back in, moving carefully.</p><p>“What happened last night?” Alex asks, wanting to put the pieces back together.</p><p>“You had… I guess a panic attack?” Michael says carefully. “So we just watched Schitt’s Creek on the couch. You were pretty out of it and you fell asleep during the third episode or so,” Michael tells him as he arranges things on the coffee table. “So I carried you back to bed and… I’m sorry I had to get your jeans off to get your prosthetic off,” he says softly. “I just… Maybe I should have let you sleep with it on, but I know how much it hurts you and that you’re not supposed to-”</p><p>“And after that?” Alex asks, lowering himself onto the couch.</p><p>“Tucked you in and slept out here,” Michael shrugs.</p><p>“I’m sorry I couldn’t-”</p><p>“Don’t apologize,” Michael’s voice is calm, even. “If we cut out that chunk of time where you were… I was so scared, Alex. Seeing you like that-” Michael’s voice breaks. “Knowing it’s my fault-”</p><p>Alex shakes his head quickly, reaching for Michael’s hands, “It’s not your fault. You didn’t-” He takes a deep breath, lets it out, “It’s not your fault, Michael.”</p><p>Michael clears his throat and swipes at his eyes. “The rest of it was the best night I’ve had in a long time.” He looks like he’s preparing himself for something and all Alex can think is that a ‘but’ is coming and he desperately wants to head it off.</p><p>“I, um, I understand if that, if I’m too much for you,” he says carefully. “I can’t- I want you. I love you. But I can’t promise I’ll ever…”</p><p>Michael’s eyes meet his, looking completely horrified, “Alex, no! I don’t- I meant it when I said I’d happily just spend the rest of my life without that. As long as I don’t have to spend it without you, okay?” He gives a little smile, “Cosmic, remember?”</p><p>Alex nods at that, “If you’re sure?”</p><p>“Absolutely, darlin’.” He pauses, “Now eat your breakfast. Eggs are getting cold.”</p><p>Michael insists on helping Alex clean up after they eat, drying dishes after Alex washes them, bumping against him every once in a while gently.</p><p>Alex isn’t sure what Michael is doing while he does his physical therapy, takes a shower, and dresses, carefully putting his prosthetic on, but, when he comes out, Michael is holding his phone up, “Izzy and Kyle will be here in about an hour.”</p><p>Alex nods, “What would you say to a walk until then?”</p><p>Michael doesn’t ask if he’s up to it, just nods and puts his boots on, waiting for Alex to lead the way out the door.</p><p>After a block or so, Alex finds the courage to slide his hand into Michael’s, intertwining their fingers as they walk. Michael tells him more about his classes and then about Roswell gossip, clearly sidestepping certain subjects.</p><p>Alex doesn’t push, happy to listen to him, happy to hold his hand and be out in the world with the man he loves, hoping that, in spite of everything, they’ll find a way to make it work.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I planned on this being the last part, but sometimes trauma decides otherwise. So at least one more part is coming. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>